Generalizations 101

I hate people who drive.
Yeah, I know, that's a pretty huge group of people.
But if you are a human, have a driver's license, and drive a car, you probably suck.
I often think I have seen the worst of people every time I get in the car, but I seem to be proven wrong daily.
I'm driving, right? Getting on the highway, 8am, heading toward downtown Dallas. Pretty crazy traffic, yes, but whatever. I can deal. Until that time in the commute where every driver seems to just throw logic and courtesy out the window: merging.
I know what you're thinking; that's almost as scary as parallel parking.
For some reason, people don't get the concept of one car from each lane at a time. It's so simple. I can only imagine how much easier people's morning commutes would be if everyone just merged correctly.
So I'm going, minding my own business, and I look to my right. Why hello, icky gold Toyota Camry, I did not see you almost IN MY BACKSEAT. I creep forward a little, and he just decides it'd be so cool to pull up right next to me. Mind you, there are maybe 20 feet left for us to merge.
I look over at him, and he smiles! He is just off in happy land, probably having just taken his happy pills for the day, not even caring that we are about to create a very ugly MINI Cooper/Toyota Camry hybrid.
And really, that's not the worst of what I've seen. Not even close. I guess people assume that since I am in a car approximately the size of a large dog, they can just take up all my space.
It's great, really. I appreciate all the tailgating, being cut off, and taking up half my parking spot.
Maybe, just maybe, if people put down their phones, newspapers, mascara, and shut off their laptops (really, now?), driving would be a much more pleasant, safe experience. High blood pressure rates would probably plummet, as would the use of middle fingers and horns.
I know, I know. It is a fantasy. But a girl can dream. Maybe Obama can add that to his List of Change.