Generalizations 101

I hate people who drive.
Yeah, I know, that's a pretty huge group of people.
But if you are a human, have a driver's license, and drive a car, you probably suck.
I often think I have seen the worst of people every time I get in the car, but I seem to be proven wrong daily.
I'm driving, right? Getting on the highway, 8am, heading toward downtown Dallas. Pretty crazy traffic, yes, but whatever. I can deal. Until that time in the commute where every driver seems to just throw logic and courtesy out the window: merging.
I know what you're thinking; that's almost as scary as parallel parking.
For some reason, people don't get the concept of one car from each lane at a time. It's so simple. I can only imagine how much easier people's morning commutes would be if everyone just merged correctly.
So I'm going, minding my own business, and I look to my right. Why hello, icky gold Toyota Camry, I did not see you almost IN MY BACKSEAT. I creep forward a little, and he just decides it'd be so cool to pull up right next to me. Mind you, there are maybe 20 feet left for us to merge.
I look over at him, and he smiles! He is just off in happy land, probably having just taken his happy pills for the day, not even caring that we are about to create a very ugly MINI Cooper/Toyota Camry hybrid.
And really, that's not the worst of what I've seen. Not even close. I guess people assume that since I am in a car approximately the size of a large dog, they can just take up all my space.
It's great, really. I appreciate all the tailgating, being cut off, and taking up half my parking spot.
Maybe, just maybe, if people put down their phones, newspapers, mascara, and shut off their laptops (really, now?), driving would be a much more pleasant, safe experience. High blood pressure rates would probably plummet, as would the use of middle fingers and horns.
I know, I know. It is a fantasy. But a girl can dream. Maybe Obama can add that to his List of Change.

Obligatory Intro Post!

It all started 5 minutes ago. I was having a lovely conversation with my mother, considering job options where snarkiness isn't just tolerated, it's required.
I couldn't really think of anything, and then I remembered this great world of blog, just sitting at my fingertips.
'Professional blogging,' I think. 'Of course!'
Everything fell into place. All confusion in my life disappeared, leaving nothing but a clear picture of me, sitting at my laptop, typing away to my heart's content.
Okay, so maybe it wasn't quite that glorious (and maybe I'm not quite professional), but I definitely thought it would be pretty awesome.
The name, of course, came naturally. The 'daily' part might be a lie sometimes, but it's gonna be the snarkiest blog you ever did see.
It may seem glamorous, I know, to those of you who aren't familiar with blogging; but believe me this, it is not.
Sweat, blood, tears, and random finger spasms go into every post you read, every blog you take for granted. There is a person on the other side of that pretty blog, slaving away through piles of thoughts, trying to give you only the best.
I'm probably not gonna do that.
But I hear word that sarcasm is the new black, and if that's the case, I'm the President.